liza bean

itty bitty roommates

Dear little itty bitty ants,
As much as I have enjoyed your attempts to drive my "cool as a cucumber" husband batty, you've gone a little too far. I admit, you gave him quite the challenge; something he got a big kick out of, but now dear friends, go, walk out the door, just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore. Yes, you are cute, in that "oh my goodness how can such an annoying creature be so little" sort of way but I've gotten a little tired of finding you and your friends partying in my coffee cup. And those times that you think it's hilarious to double dare the gullible ones in your group to crawl up my arm --well, I just wish you'd stop being so mean! You know what I do...so stop edging 'em on, I hate being the one to squash the fun, if you know what I mean. Perhaps we could compromise here, I'll give you the area behind the tv, you leave my coffee table be; I'll even give you the window sills! yeah, yeah, and I promise that bugs that come in from the gapes in the screens won't bother you one bit . How about that? Deal? Good. Also, you owe us about $515 in rent, you are housing your whole family, afterall. So pay up!
warm regards,
Liza Falconer