December 12, 2004

hello..

Is anyone here anymore? I do not blame you if you are gone. Honeys, I've been so gone it's not even funny. Every night I go to bed thinking, "Wowzers (I really do say that to myself!) Liza, you need to prioritize your life! Keep in touch with your friends and family. Seriously, hon, you're being such a horrible sister/friend." Yeah, welcome to the inner workings of this crazy mind. I had to just laugh a few nights ago when, after working a 12 hour day at school, I was still beating myself up for NOT working on my paper in the remaining few hours of my evening (which, I just finished, HELL YEAH!) Okay, so I just finished perhaps the worst paper I have ever written but I refuse to do more than check it over for typo/grammar errors 'cause I'm done with it. D-U-N. In about 70 hours I will be finished with my 4th semester of grad school- whoo-hoo!
Another moment of exitement: Today KT (with immense help from Martha)threw my sister a wedding shower. It was a secret and when Katie arrived she was totally and entirely surpised. She even started to cry which made me start to cry because I felt like she got a sense of just how much people care about her. Or maybe she was just crying from relief to see that no one gave her a fat chocolate lab that barks when babies are sleeping. Who knows!
Anyway, back to the guilt factor. Being this busy at first makes me feel entirely selfish. Do I pick up a phone to call anyone? Nope, I'm too exhausted. Do I send little thoughtful gifts to people near and far? The thought is there frequently but the actions remain to be seen. But then when I think about it more I'm like, "Man, that's wack!" Although I do need a more balanced lifestyle of work, play, and service, the fact is I have to do work, work, work in order to finish this program SOON. And finishing this program is a top priority. I'm ready for the challenges of the real work world! Bring it on, Carle, bring it on. (Carle's a local hospital that I just got an internship with!) I guess I'm just a little nervous that I may become a permanent workaholic. And that's not a balanced life. Ho, hum. Those are my current ponderings. Suggestions would be most appreciated!

Posted by liza at December 12, 2004 12:08 AM
Comments

Never fear, I check this site everyday.

I too get down on myself a lot because it seems like all I have time for is school/work. If someone tells me, "Hey we should hang out, maybe play some ping-pong," of course my response is "Yeah, that would be sweet." But it never comes to fruition because I'm always bogged down. So then it looks like I'm blowing people off, when really I'm not. I don't think this helps in any way, Liza, other than I know your pain.

I keep thinking that things will change once I'm out of school and have a job, something that won't necessarily require me to do homework. My balanced life ambitions have been pushed back until that date. Whether or not that happens, who knows? School is unreasonable, so once I'm out and have an established job, things'll be better right? That's what I'm banking on. Well, I don't see how that helps you either. Maybe next time.

Posted by: nathan at December 12, 2004 12:59 AM

Dearest Liza, of course I always check your blog, especially when I am "working" on something very important for school.... :) You are NOT a horrible friend. You don't exactly see me calling you every night and bringing over little gifts. I feel like we (beyond you and me) go through cycles; sometimes people connect to others a lot and other times our lives are more preoccupied with other stuff. And, that happens on a larger scale too...say, when you are in school vs at an easy job vs having a little baby at home. I've noticed that close friends make it through the ebb and flow of friendships.

Posted by: KT at December 12, 2004 11:06 AM

I love you.
ps congrats on finishing the paper and on the internship.

Posted by: missmartha at December 12, 2004 08:06 PM

OK, you guys are very sweet. Thanks!

Posted by: liza at December 12, 2004 09:39 PM

Liza, so glad you're back to blog! I check your blog on a regular basis, always knowing that you'll come back to us, your loyal fans. :)

I think that learning balance is a lifelong lesson. At least it has been for me so far!

Congratulations on your internship! Sounds like a new and exciting step in your learning adventure!

Posted by: Heather at December 12, 2004 10:56 PM

I just want to say congrats on the internship. It was just a tiny part of you entry, but I know it made you jump up and down a few times :)

Posted by: Sarah I at December 13, 2004 03:20 PM